Where I’m at right now
It’s been two weeks since I came back to the U.S. from studying abroad in Korea, and a lot has changed fast. Some of it is personal—like the breakup. Some of it is bigger than I expected—like my parents retiring and leaving me to stay in the U.S. on my own.
It’s not just that “a lot happened.” It’s that life suddenly feels more real. More adult. More on me.
The month that changed my mindset
January was the first time in a while where I had to sit with my own thoughts for long stretches—especially while I was in Thailand. Being alone more, living inside my own routine, and dealing with uncertainty forced me to look at my life from a distance.
And somewhere in that time, something shifted.
The best word I can find is confidence, but not the loud kind. More like a quiet belief that I’ll be okay no matter what.
What I realized about my life
When I look back, I’ve had both disadvantages and advantages.
I didn’t grow up with a lot of money or resources. I had to figure things out on my own more than I wanted to. But I also know I’ve been lucky in real ways too—dual citizenship, parents who are supportive and loving, opportunities that many people don’t get.
Still, when I focus on the part that’s easy to forget, I’m honestly proud:
I came from less and still made it this far.
Not because it was easy—but because I kept moving.
And that matters now more than ever, because my current situation is basically asking: Can you hold yourself up without anyone else doing it for you?
The mindset I’m stepping into
I’ve started believing something that feels new for me:
I can survive. I can adapt. I can build my life.
It’s like I’m slowly downloading this idea that nothing can really stop me except me—my doubt, my procrastination, my fear, my excuses.
And if that’s true, then the solution is also on me.
That’s what makes it powerful.
It feels like a growth mindset, but even deeper:
not just “I can improve,” but “I can handle whatever happens next.”
The people who made this transition possible
I also want to say this clearly: I’m not doing this alone, even if I’m learning how to stand on my own.
I’m genuinely grateful for my friends who’ve let me couch surf and helped me get through this weird transition period. Having a place to sleep, having people check in on me, and just not feeling like I’m completely on my own has meant more than I can explain.
And especially my best friend for letting me live with him—thank you. That kind of support isn’t small. It’s the kind of help that changes someone’s life.
The safety net I’m grateful for
At the same time, I’m not pretending I’m doing this with zero support. I’m grateful I still have a safety net.
Even something as simple as having credit available means that if cash runs low, I can cover essentials short-term. And if things truly don’t work out, I know I could buy a ticket back to Thailand if I needed to.
I’m especially thankful to my dad for always telling me that I can go back if things don’t work out—just knowing that option exists makes me feel less trapped and more capable of taking risks.
But I don’t want to rely on that. I want to build stability here.
What I want moving forward
I don’t want this confidence to be temporary. I want it to turn into action.
I want to keep pushing—not in a chaotic way, but in a steady way. The kind of pushing that builds a life I’m proud of.
So my next goal is simple: get a job, create stability, and prove to myself that I can keep myself alive and moving forward.
Even if I’m alone here, I’m not helpless.
And I think I’m finally starting to trust myself.